The Fork In The Road
A Mentoring Moment That Any Teacher or Parent Could Appreciate
He looked like he had just gone twelve straight rounds with Mike Tyson. Bruised, battered, knocked out. The perpetual smile that had previously shaped his face had finally given way to the constant onslaught to his character.
I mentor some new agents in our real estate office. I get as much out of it as I hope they do. I help guide them in their business and, more importantly, help them figure out what “kind of real estate agent” they want to be.
One particular guy I mentor, for over a year now, had not closed a transaction at that point. He is a really sincere, honest and straight forward dude. He started, as most new agents do, with the sincere hope and expectation that he was going to be the most honest and ethical agent to ever grace the world and clients would flock to him.
Instead, he was sucked into the tornado of being bred, groomed, and brain-washed with the low-level agent tactics taught to most real estate agents.
More on my buddy in a minute.
Let me expose some truths about the real estate industry, which most people do not see, scenes from the inside, the dark smoke filled rooms. No doubt, I will make enemies by sharing this, like breaking the Magicians Code, but it’s worth the risk.
You see, agents are rewarded with certificates, attention, back slaps, gifts of liquor and accolades for “landing” a client in any way possible. Celebrated for succeeding in the adage “every no means a yes.” Agents are taught and coached how to cold call, door knock, pop by your house, vomit out scripts, emails, texts, Facebook messages. They hone these low level skills with the sole focus to pester, annoy, beg and stalk in the hunt to convert someone to a client.
Just the other day, I was reminded just how pathetic most agents, and the training they receive, really are. Don’t get me wrong. I’m not being personally critical of this particular agent. I’m sure she’s a good person. But, like my mentee, she is being set up to fail. It was a lazy Sunday a few weeks ago and I was just settling in for 10 hours of unwatched Olympics burdening my DVR. I had a fresh cold beer in my hand, a party sized bag of ranch flavored Doritos and a gorgeous bowl of onion dip I just set down on the family room table. My wife makes it with low fat sour cream so at least that makes me feel better about myself. In that moment, all I was thinking about was watching Michael Phelps swim for another gold medal. As the first chip, decorated ever so nicely with a perfect amount of dip, was about to hit my lips, the damn doorbell rang. I had to drop the chip in the bowl, because who wants to talk to someone with a mouth full of junk food. Our dog Phoebe, of course, starting barking uncontrollably, as she does every time there is any unusual sound in the house. Needless to say, I wasn’t expecting anyone. So, I already had this nagging feeling as I approached the door that it was a damn door-to-door salesperson. Sure enough, I opened the door and my suspicion was confirmed.
Standing there, interrupting my “man day”, was a woman who introduced herself, the name confirmed by her ReMax Real Estate name tag, and told me straight away that she has a buyer for my home. I asked, “Who’s your buyer?” She yammered on about a couple from out of town, with no specifics, general enough that I knew it was a fictional character. Then she hands me a postcard with recent sales in the area and asked if we
would be interested in listing our house for sale. She obviously did not know who I was and the work I do. Absent was a “Hi, how are you”, nothing human about it. I asked her why she would want to list my house for sale if she already had a buyer? As I expected, she dropped into the annoying bait and switch agent tactics, talking about the market, past sales, the neighborhood, scripts, scripts
and more scripts. Anything to dodge the fact that she had been exposed at my front door step in the first sixty seconds.
Back to my Mentee…These Low-Level Agent Tactics Were Killing His Character.
He had not closed a deal yet and was being told by his coach that he was not cold calling enough, was not door knocking enough, was not taking enough classes offered by the office (for a fee of course), was not plastering his car with magnets and stickers, was not robo-dialing enough, needed to wear his name badge more. He was made to feel guilty and lazy.
But, these average real estate agent tactics did not feel right to him. They did not make him feel good. They did not resonate with the core of his character. He was really down and contemplating just bailing out of the industry completely. It’s extremely painful watching someone’s happiness melt away because he sees no other way.
So, I posed two questions to him.
“Do you want to annoy and beg, being avoided by people because they don’t want to be hounded by you at every turn? Or Do you want to serve people, provide for them, aid in their success, learn from them, and connect with them as people?”
I pointed him in the direction we take in our business. I told him to start sharing stories of his past struggles and how he overcame them. Share stories about his successes and failures, and how he handled it. Give people information so they can learn more about him and he can show his true character and conviction. I told him that operating this way is monumentally harder than the simple annoying tactics of most agents.
When I mean harder, I mean 100X harder.
But, with this sharing, the connections made with people can be life long, instead of fleeting. I told him this is all about the long game, acquiring new skills, and it will take time.
I sent him on his way, confused, but intrigued.
He spent the next few months seemingly out of the business. I would touch base with him here and there to check in on his progress.
Then I witnessed something deliciously amazing. I recently met up with him for breakfast to get an update on how things were going. He looked the happy eager guy I saw before his soul took a lashing. He was literally bouncing off his chair. He was stuttering trying to get his thoughts out to me. He was drunk on adrenaline.
He took my advice and starting thinking about sharing his thoughts and struggles with the people that he knew. He had not even started doing it yet, but just the idea woke up his inner engine and I could tell he was feeling re-energized. Just the idea of knowing that his days would no longer be filled with things that he dreaded was enough to reignite the fire. “I saw this change occur right in front of my face and I could not help thinking, ‘Man, I am so happy to have helped this guy.’ His eyes are open. He’s awake and I had something to do with that. I get to be a part of it. ”
Eyes open…No going back!
Helping someone, like this guy I mentor, see another way, is a gift that I humbly receive. Pointing out the fork in the road and helping to guide someone towards the right instead of the left, in a direction that resonates with their inner character. Seeing an actual light bulb go off above someone’s head and hearing them say, “There is no going back, because I hate what was back there so much it is no longer an option”.
P.S. Now that he has moved away from all of the standard low-level agent tactics, he is closing on his first sale and just took another listing. It’s amazing what happens when you find a better way of doing something that simply makes you feel good. A different way that makes you feel like you are doing something in the right way and for the right reasons.
