I Was Seeded With An Idea

Jay Lieberman
5 min readApr 6, 2018

How a simple concept grew in my mind over 30 years causing a radical shift in my life

I learned something a long time ago and I can’t remember for the life of me who said it. Could have been my parents, a teacher, a friend.

No matter.

What’s important is it stuck to me like glue. A simple seed of an idea which grew into a full on oak tree in my mind.

“If you have a question about something, just ask it.”

A simple 10-word sentence.

A compilation of letters which has now become the main pillar of my life.

The result: I never sit back and dream about an answer to a question I have.

I find the source that caused the question. Not matter who it is, what they do, or where they are.

All that doesn’t matter to me. The only thing that matters is getting an answer from the person that sparked the question in my mind.

I’m a science fiction nut. Anyone that knows me and has seen my collection of over 1000 Sci-Fi books, can attest to that.

One of my favorite Sci-Fi authors is Joe Haldeman. He’s been writing for decades, wrote one of the first books in the Star Trek series, and currently teaches creative writing at MIT. A seriously decorated guy.

I was reading one of his books a while back and I was annoyed about how he killed off a character, but more curious actually about how he was able to bring her back toward the end. Bending space, time and all that stuff. He was able to twist my brain into knots and I wanted to know how he did it. I’m not easily snookered.

If you have a question about something, just ask it,” came rolling through my head.

So, I found a phone number online to his department at MIT. I picked up the phone and called him. They told me he was out for 3 months working on a novel.

They gave me his email address, but said he rarely responds.

I tossed an email out assuming it would be lost in the ether.

Instead, a mere 3 days later his wife, Gay, emailed me back letting me know she would print off my email and ask Joe about it. She went further and told me he was out writing so it may not be until tonight.

Tonight? Holy crap, that’s awesome.

The next morning Gay emailed me back, apologizing for the delay.

She said that Joe giggled when she read him my question. He then wrote 3 words on the email she printed out to send back to me.

Stop thinking horizontally.” He also included a happy face on it.

It’s been 3 years and I still think about those words he wrote every time I pick up a new book.

It didn’t matter who he was, what he’s done, the hundreds of books and stories he has written or the fact that he teaches at MIT.

I asked the question, and he answered it.

Same thing happened with Mark Manson, the author of the Popular book ‘The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck.’

I’ve read it a couple times and I couldn’t help but think this should be required reading for high school students.

So, I found Manson on Facebook and private messaged him. Letting him know my thoughts.

A few days later, he responds:

Love it. And yeah, a lot of parents have said they want to pass it along. Some have even asked for a PG-version, which to me kind of defeats the point. But thanks.

I asked the question, and he answered it.

Seems like my questions may be reserved for authors likely because I ead a lot. Movies form just as many questions in my head for which I also need answers.

One Sunday afternoon I was scrolling through Netflix and clicked on a movie called Rise. Had no idea what it was, what it was about or why I even clicked it.

Sometimes the blind choices are the best, and this certainly was no exception.

Rise was the true story of Mack Lindon, an Australian native, who was wrongfully accused of rape over 12 years ago. He also wrote, produced and directed the film. He spent about 2 years locked up with some of the most hardened criminals. I won’t go on and spoil it for you, but what I was so moved about was the concept of being wrongfully accused and what kind of mind f*ck that really is.

It brought back memories of when I was about 12 years old and Bruce, one of the kids on our block, was arrested for killing his mother in their home down the street.

He spent over 26 years in prison and was recently released, also wrongfully convicted.

How does someone like Mack Lindon or Bruce remain sane under those conditions.

I had to find out. So, I asked.

I messaged Mack Lindon, asking how he dealt with that. Did he want revenge when he was eventually released? Did he ever consider suicide in jail?

In less than 2 hours he messaged me back. He was so gracious, carefully answering all of my questions, and thanking me for my interest. He also flipped me a link to a new film he was working on.

I asked the question, and he answered it.

Now this ‘question asking tirade’ that is my life also goes internal. Meaning, I stir up my own problem and work to find the answer, so I can fix it.

My most sweeping internal problem and change happened in our real estate business. The industry is loaded with unethical, negligent and careless agents causing tremendous damage to their clients. I’m talking tens of thousands of dollars. I witness it every day and feel terrible for their clients.

So, I asked a question to myself a few years ago:

“How can I NOT be like the majority of the real estate industry?”

An industry with a reputation just above the piece of shit on the bottom of my shoe.

I couldn’t text anyone about this. Couldn’t Facebook message or call anyone.

I had to look within.

It took months and a massive amount of collaboration with other like-minded agents, that I consider my extended family, to generate the answers I needed.

And the answer took the initial form of shedding my agent skin and rebuilding my reputation to be anything and everything that is not just another real estate agent, bumbling along begging for business and killing their souls.

The answers came further flooding in. And with it came a completely different approach to helping our clients achieve incredibly superior results in the sales of their homes. All without ever demeaning ourselves by acting like most of the negative reputation agents out there.

Watch this short video to see the difference for yourself by going to www.SuperiorApproach.com.

I asked the question, and WE answered it.

You see, my whole life of asking question after question to the person that generated the question, without a care of their celebrity or status, brought my personal and work life a few years ago to a 180 degree turn.

Things work like that sometimes and I’m gracious as hell something inside me made me continue to ask the questions that mattered to me.

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Jay Lieberman

Adoring Husband and Father, Author, Host of the Conejo Podcast Show, Dog Lover, Attorney and Realtor